Interview with Anastacea Koudrie
* There are hundreds of books, workshops, courses, even festivals on Tantra. So what is Tantra?
Tantra is easy. It is like jazz, like dance, like children playing. It is the magic of sharing. Tantra is within all of us. We are all capable of giving ourselves totally to LOVE, CARE and CONNECTION. But...unfortunatelly the most people find it very difficult to be emotionally like that in their sex lives. And they are very unhappy because of lack of sexual fulfillment.
* But what about Tantric techniques?
We do not need any techniques as such. We just need to LISTEN - to ourselves and to our partners. We need to relax and let the energy flow. We need to stop thinking and ‘doing’, and simply become still in mind and soft in the body, become a cloud of endless gratitude to each other. Gratitude is the path leading to the ecstatic state of Tantric sex.
* Who taught you about Tantra?
Life. All my experiences of lovemaking. My sensitive body, my gentle nature. For thousands of years people have lived with a sense of sexual shame, often filled with dark desires. Most people today are still hiding their sexual unhappiness. There are not many teachers who can show you in practice the way to sexual happiness. I cannot imagine any other teachers for me except my own loving heart and my radiant body. All gurus are within us. Tantra is about opening the guru inside yourself.
* There are a lot of organisations which offer professional Tantric help. Do you take part in any of their work?
I love to help more people become sexually open, but my work is NOT connected to any ‘Tantric institutions’. My work is a reflection of my personality. I believe in creating the magic of intimate sharing between two lovers.
* Have you obtained any qualifications in Tantra?
I do not believe that such qualifications are possible. It is absurd! Examinations in love and intimacy? Tantra has become a big business. But is it really Tantra? Is it really the magic of intimacy, the joy of sharing emotional and physical closeness? Sexuality is a delicate expression of human existence. Tantric sex is something so intangible, it is difficult to find a way of describing or understanding it except by experiencing it. But you need that special partner who has already discovered Tantric sex.
* You call yourself a Tantric Master or Tantric Artist. What does this mean? Do you believe that you do something different from others who call themselves Tantric?
I teach Tantric sex. I don’t just talk about it. I believe that sexual Tantra is like dancing or music – an expression, an art which is always different between different sexual partners. Books, workshops and courses can be interesting and useful for giving a deeper insight into sexuality, but for me personally, they can't replace the powerful and beautiful moments of sexual sharing which I have had with my Tantric lovers. You can’t play piano by just talking or reading about playing, you need to play, literally, put your fingers on the piano keyboard.
After coming to one of my sessions for the first time, a man wrote to me:
'Anastacea, thank you for yesterday evening. I felt welcomed, guided and enjoyed by you - even cherished - and felt love for you too, holding you. It was a very good introduction to Tantra for me. I am now enjoying a big pool of energy that wasn't accessed for me before. It feels slightly overwhelming at times, but I suspect it will become integrated into my being as I get used to it... is that what happens?'
This is what Tantra is about - holding each other and feeling overwhelmed by love. By the way, this man was 26 and for a few years studied psychotherapy, but the course didn't teach much about sexual happiness. Many other people have said to me that they participated in tantric workshops but they learnt nothing about Tantric sex. So sexual happiness remained an unsolved puzzle for them. My own perception of the tantric business today is that it is like a religion - there is a lot of tension around the act of sexual penetration, as in any other religion. I am different because I practice Tantric sex almost every day and I know that things like chakra theory or breathing and meditation techniques are not the key to the magic of Tantric sex.
* What is the key?
Loving and attentive touch, beautiful feelings towards each other, romantic improvisation, synchronisation of body movements, good knowledge about your own sensuality and about your partner's... It is really only possible to learn by practicing Tantric sex.
* What about sexual energy control? Isn’t Tantra about that, about a higher level of orgasm, about multiple orgasms?
I do not think Tantra is about orgasms at all. I also do not like the word 'control'. It is like forcing something. In Tantra you need to learn to master your sexual energy, which means moving and distributing it around the body, leaving the genitals in a relaxed and soft state for the woman and in a half-relaxed and half-soft state for the man. In Tantra, people focus on each other, on their loving expression towards each other, but not on themselves, on their own sensations. Most people cannot do that easily. That's why men ejaculate or lose their erections, and women are left with unsatisfied desires. In my sessions, even men in their 80's can maintain a good erection throughout the session without ejaculating. I myself never have an orgasm as most women know it.
* It is still not clear what you actually do in your work…
I ... simply love, I love men as they are, helping them to become softer in their bodies, gentler in their touch, slower in their movements, deeper in their emotions. So, I dance with them like an erotic Muse, I make love to them like a devoted wife, I talk to them like their closest friend.
I show women how to help their men become good lovers for them, how to touch a man to relax him, how to dance with him erotically, how to open their bodies for their men and feel overwhelmed by the happiness of having them there.
I know that most people would not be happy if their partners had a sexual experience with someone else. But sex is not easy. There is a lot to learn. We need proper teachers. Teaching lovemaking can only be effective if it is practical. There is no service like mine - teaching people about their sexuality through practical experience.
I believe that my sessions open in people the best human qualities and do not harm their relationships with their partners. In fact the opposite is true. My sessions give a deeper understanding of loving sensual touch which you can share with your partner. |
